Ok, part two let us go go go!

Richard, Dale, and I get up from our slumber. Richard’s back is wet so he has to go take a shower to make it wetter. Dale and I head down to Cory’s room and meet up with Cory and Stacy. We /silly and /wave for half an hour until I conclude Richard fell asleep in the shower and will not be joining us for lunch.

The quartet headed to Jason’s Deli. Jon, on the Buffet r13 clarinet, Cory, on the rusty trombone, Dale, on the skin flute, and Stacy did a solo on the oboe, coulda sold a million then the Villain went for dolo and cited creative differences, basically they hated, she left no jaded witnesses. Rappers suck, when they spit I doubt ‘em the crap they sing about you’ll wanna slap the [censored] [censored] out ‘em.

Richard called and was pretty mad we left without him, but he walked over, sorry Richard! We enjoyed some mediocre food and saw Kyle!

Blah blah cheow meow we go back to The Holiday Inn Express and get ready to head to the church. Basically, we were late because Richard wanted to go to Wendy’s. Nom nom nom nom. Seriously though, Jimmy led us on a high speed chase because he was scared to get married and got his wanted level to 6 stars and got an achievement. This made him happy so he decided to go get married again.

We go to a room in the church and start changing. I could barely contain myself when I saw Dale in his tighty whities! The thoughtful Ann Gunnels gave us a bowl of fun-sized candy bars to munch on, thanks! Soon, I realized I did not have my tie. I am pretty good at some of the more complicated things in life, but to keep it real I fail at some of the more simple things. Jimmy gets on the horn and asks around. I can tell he is pretty agitated, sorry again Jimmy. We briefly consider just going out naked, but for various reasons we wouldn’t match. Luckily, Brother Tony comes through and hooks me up with the softest most velvety crimson tie known to man.

I kind of remember taking pictures, I had to sit since I was the tallest.  The photographer’s flash was defunct ftl. Also Dale was a sad panda and not smiling, because he was losing his brother from another mother like Mel Gibson and Danny Glover. The nice lady photo taker also told Richard to smile overmillion time because he wasn’t showing teeth!

NICE TURQUOISE SUIT KENNY!

Three things stuck out during the ceremony: a funny picture, Jimmy saying his vows wrong, and one Jimmy’s silly siblings. First, in the background of a picture there is a girl that looks like she has a green face. She kind of looked like Jim Carrey from The Mask. Next, Jimmy was must of been under pressure and instead of saying ordinate he said ordnance! Ha! Finally, Hannah was sobbing and blowing her nose so loud (like a goose) I thought for sure she had failed her TAKS test! I bet she will get something cool if she passes it though…

Sooooooooooooooo……… We finally make it to the Summit II for the reception because Dale and Richard ate the Summit I. To be honest though, they ate the structure and people, but saved me the most delicious part, the steeple! I was not hungry at all, but managed to eat a little. I remember thinking a few days later man that food was good I wish I could of saved myself a mini-roast-beef-sandwich that would be so good now. I didn’t eat any cake either :(.

Umm, one of Jimmy’s relatives called me rich for buying Dom, ha, I wish! They call me new money, say I have no class, I’m from the bottom, I came up too fast. I was sad they wouldn’t let me drink it straight out of the bottle and forced me to share. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE MY RAP STAR FANTASIES!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!?

Next, Richard said I was a “bad ass” for taking a drink out of Andrea’s hand and whisking  her to the dance floor. I think I said something that agitated her, so this was the standard play.  That’s how its gotta be, as far as I can see, maybe you should grab a telescope to see my view, it’s like astronomy.

The best-double-bourbon-and-coke-man then says he has a good idea that will help me out. I slightly cringe as I see him head towards MC K.G. It’s like I know what’s ’bout to happen, just keep my eye out, like ‘aye, aye captain. He then dedicates a song to his “good friend Jon Vermillion” and Andrea. We are good sports and dance to a song that seemed like it would never end, but in a bad way.  Later that night MC K.G. vetoes my idea of dedicating this song to Dale and Kyndra. I still plot my revenge…

Jimmy lined up some cool songs for us to dance too. Kyle said that Rodney King ain’t ever feel a beat like this, turned up the volume, and everyone did the souljaboy. I am pretty sure David Gunnels did it the best. I was pretty impressed. Next we relived ghost riding the whip without such obstacles as a hill and a Saturn. I don’t think I will ever forget the conversation of the ghost riding night:

Jimmy:Dude lets just wait  and do it (ghostriding) in a parking lot

Jon: There are cars parked outside man, it’s a parking lot

Ok, finally there was the greatness of watching Cory do the worm and Richard dance like a monkey. Cory, I saw you slow dance with Stacy too, awwwwwwwwww.

Ok, now how I really feel about you guys:

Cory: If it wasn’t for you I would not be writing this. That fateful night you IMed ImprovidentV and asked if he would like to play a home game with you turned into this. You were a good roommate, and still a good friend.  It’s cool that we are the only ones understand the ups and downs of analyzing equities.

Dale: If I could only pick one 30 year old guy to stay up late and dangle with, it’d be you. I am glad I can stay up on AIM and discuss the adversities of life such as what to do when a shower ring falls into a toilet with poop in it. See you @ SFA in the fall. Damn, I guess I am moving into a new place with you today, so I’ll see you too much ;).

Jimmy:  Jimmy, I am not sure if you can see this as I am unsure if my blog can be viewed using Netscape Navigator.When you do, know that you are just behind Noah Wyle on my man crush list. I think it is really cool that you have things figured out that I don’t think I will have figured out when I am 23 :). See you for the fantasy draft I suppose, and hit me up if you want to invest in FOREX, I can do math over the phone ;).

Richard: Thanks for being sane. Thanks for being my muscle.  Thanks for eating a piece of coal. Thanks for being Snorlax. Thanks for being there.

 

This month sucks, I lost all my affiliate money (~8500) playing heads up 25/50.

And I can’t even beat 100nl apparently, imagine that graph below and extend the line down to 0.  Oh well I assume it will all turn around.

So that’s basically -10k! When I think about this I get physically sick. Sweet, I’m going to go take a bath with the toaster. O man, Chase took it, never mind.

Just going to grind some 100nl the rest of the month, and maybe profit $1000 at that limit? … Starting tomorrow <3

Part 2 of the wedding I will do that by the end of the month too.

:( :( :(

Ya… Pathetic kind of.

My goal in June is to play 40k hands.

I’ll be giving 10% to some church, but it’s a surprise! If I don’t this month I will have to rename my blog

After a long day of grinding at the tables and nothing to show for it I have decided to chronicle Jimmy’s Wedding Weekend!

Lets start Thursday… Dale and I have decided to dress nice (Dale made us all wear ties) for the rehearsal dinner which meant I needed to purchase a nice pair of pants from JC Penney’s, because I have a gift card there. Obviously, being the early birds we are, the store is not even open! I watch as an African-American male in a Bernie Kosar jersey tried to open the door unsuccessfully. To kill the time Dale and I roll down the windows and jam some Limp Bizkit “Significant Other” until the store opens.

We walk inside, and the room is dark, I mean there are lots of black people in there, but the lights are off too. This makes it quite difficult for me to find grey pants! The nice sales lady informs us that the lights are on a computer timer. She says that she is hot (it is a tad muggy), so I make the mistake of asking if she is conceited. The sales associate replies that no, she just got out of the shower blah blah cheow meow, basically she doesn’t know what conceited means. It is kind of a big word! She proceeds to ramble on maybe five minutes longer, but it was fun, I like listening to strangers talk to me and how they react to my words.

I finally find where the grey slacks are hanging, when another nice lady comes over! She asks what we are shopping for and I say some cool new duds for a wedding. She asks who’s wedding and I give the only acceptable answer: the wedding of Dale and Jon. She looks flustered for a second and says not to get her started so I go to the dressing room. They fit, so I use my sweet gift card, and we drive all the way across town to Bealls.

Dale buys some new Dockers to replace the lame Duckheads. Leave 111 in the comments if you want him to buy some Timberlands next! He finds some brown pants relatively fast. Then he goes to look at shirts, with buttons! I have concluded that Dale has a fat neck, and the lady who measured him can verify this. I had to tell him to pretend he was a giraffe eating some delicious Yaupon leaves to make his neck skinnier, and then BAM! The sales lady gets the top button buttoned. We then had to find a tie that matched his shirt which was cream colored like the color of French Vanilla coffee when you put the French Vanilla creamer in it. The nice lady finds a tie that matches his shirt better than the match.com profiles of “daleberto” and “sarasara86″! I also bought a shirt and tie, but didn’t have as much trouble because I yanked them from the display.

Dale hadn’t slept for awhile, but he was still awesome and accompanied me to Wing Stop, which is more of a lunch place, for lunch. I got some delicious original hot wings, while Dale selected Garlic Parmesan, a v solid choice imo. We then head back to our apartment to wait for Richard and Jimmy to arrive. The four of us got in my whip and rode to Lufkin to try on our tuxedos.

All four of us are in the back (separate rooms, except Jimmy and I, wink) when Dale mentions that he has never worn a tie. Jimmy was surprised that Dale didn’t wear one to his dad’s funeral and voiced this concern. I looked at Richard then glanced at Dale, and they both had the WTF-Did-He-Just-Say-That-Look on his face. Our gazes formed a triangular laser like Voltron that seared Jimmy’s sideburns, singing the lower half into a shade of vermilion. Jimmy, that is pretty mean man, you shouldn’t say stuff like that. Everyone was taking pictures of themselves with their cell phones, probably because I was driving home, and I might kill you with my bold and aggressive driving.

We wake up on Friday and pack everything in either a suitcase, dufflebag, backpack, or laundry bag. My car has no AC, but luckily the awesome music carries Richard, Dale, and I to the sprawling metropolis of Longview, TX. We check into the Holiday Inn Express, and I am mildly perturbed that I have to pay for our room. It’s ok, I just sent an invoice to Kissing Oak St in San Antonio today.

We get in the room and all three of us just stare at the window, waiting for the last groomsman, the ever elusive Cory Maddox 00, to arrive. We see his epic mount, a shiny silver Nissan Altima, pull out and I start knocking on the window until he acknowledges me. Cory, unlike the rest of the groomsmen, has a real girlfriend as opposed to our imaginary or latent ones. Her name is Stacy, and she is funny, pretty, and not Peruvian.

We pull up to the church with windows down and Gangstarr-Deadly Habits blaring. Jimmy has to maintain an image or something, so he scolded me and turned the volume down before I tactically drove past the front door.

We get inside and meet up with the family and the bridesmaids. Cynthia, the groom’s mother, sticks her hand out to introduce herself and I let her know my name is Jon. She must know I am the Jon, I pronounced it without the ‘H’ that most Johns have, she goes from handshake mode to hug mode and tells me she is v sorry. Cynthia pities me because of some drama between me and her oldest daughter, Andrea. I let Cynthia know this is awkward. The bridesmaid I get to walk with, Sara, is v pretty and I think funny too. The only problem was that we walked too fast down the aisle, but I didn’t choose that speed, it chose me, so I hit the ground running, like a nosebleed. There was a pretty cool slide show that would be played during the ceremony paired with some not so cool music. I have drawn two conclusions from this slideshow: 1.)Jimmy, you were FAT and 2.)Khara, you are lanky. Nothing else really exciting happened except Jimmy’s youngest sister, Hannah, got married to Khara’s father, David, twice!

Next, we head to the rehearsal dinner at Papacitas which was conveniently located 50 yards from the hotel. We have sat down for about five minutes before Richard says we should go to the b. We get there and I order a LIT (Long Island Iced Tea), because I can’t buy a bottle of anything because this b wasn’t a bar, it was so poor, it couldn’t afford the ‘a-r’. Jimmy’s dad then has the audacity to tell us to go back to the dining room so we can listen to his speech.

Jim Jr. thanks everyone for coming out, but those words aren’t filling up my gas tank, then Jimmy ships me a Tracy McGrady replica jersey crucial. Jimmy probably thinks I fly high, no lie, you know it, so he got me a baller’s jersey. Richard backs down people in the post like no other then misses close shots, so he received a Yao Ming jersey. Cory got a Mario Williams jersey, because no one knew where he was for a year. Dale got a Jerome Bettis autographed picture that is neatly framed and sitting on his floor like some sort of shrine. I think Andrea has some stuff you can hang pictures up with, so you might want to get in touch with her.

I finally get my food (fajitas, taco, and enchilada), which I thought was pretty good and can’t help but notice the singing girl in the wedding, Kristi(sp?), and I keep on looking at each other. Ha, this is a fun game! She has pretty eyes but they are too scary, like too piercing of a flat out blue-green color. I really like brown eyes, and sometimes really like green ones.

For some reason, I am genuinely annoyed that I cannot purchase a bottle of anything at this place. I think alot of it had to do with my associate transferring $7k to the wrong players! My mistake, Chris, the b-tender, says I can order bottles of beer, and I let him know he is a regular comedian. I then proceed to ask Chris if he would get offended if I ordered a bottle of beer and poured it out on the bar. I was surprised he said yes because with the way he poured shots he got half the liquor on the bar! I think only one of my drinks was on the Krueger tab, because Cynthia said I deserved it or something. Here is what I remember drinking:

2x Regular Iced Tea

3x LIT

1x Shot of Patron

1x Shot of Jägermeister

I guess we ended up taking these horns from the restaurant:

We all leave the restaurant and Kyle drives me and some other people, I don’t really remember who except Dale, to this pub place. Supposedly on the way I said, “At least I don’t work at WalMart to Dale.” Well, I am glad I don’t! If I don’t stop sucking at poker though I may have to put in my application! Wink.

I finally break down and talk outside with Andrea. She looked v elegant in her dress!

While Andrea and I were treating mishaps like sinking ships, because we know we don’t want to be out to drift, the real fun was going on inside. Supposedly Dale from Hardin, was charming Megan from South Dakota . I have only heard the stories, but one involves Dale interpretively dancing like a sea lion? My favorite story involves Megan, her third grade teacher, and Dale. You see, Megan’s social study teacher mistakenly told her that Benjamin Franklin was carved into Mount Rushmore! Kyle and Dale let her know this was not true, but Dale said he would go to dynamite school and blast his face into the granite.

Andrea whisks me back into the pub and suggests we dance, I oblige. Dale is dancing with Megan. Jimmy mentions that Dale is a P.I.M.P. because he has never seen Dale dance with a girl. I mention in passing to Jimmy that he should go read a book, because he is an illiterate son of a bitch, and that reading books would step up his vocab. I think I had a Jägerbomb at this place, thanks to whoever bought it! Outside the pub a black dude from France offers me a cigarette which I accept, his name was James. Next, we went back to the Holiday Inn, but to my disappointment there was no Chingy, Snoop Dogg, or Ludacris.

I am not sure how, but we ended up at the back patio part of the hotel. I think it was Jimmy, Dale, Richard, Megan, Andrea, John, J2, Kyle, Kyle’s Wife (what is her name?), and me. It was all kind of a blur for me. I remember just shooting the breeze and chasing Andrea around a tree for some reason. Obviously I tackled her to the ground because she doesn’t like when you take it easy on her! Jimmy supposedly has a picture of her straddling me, but I don’t think so, all you can see in that crappy cell phone picture is some guy in a white shirt and the rest is black! I also remember Kyle, Richard, and I finishing a bottle of wine with the cork inside. People from the North are classy like that. I believe the group consumed a 12 pack of budlight, two 6 packs of bacardi silver, and a bottle of wine. I also believe Richard and maybe someone else peed on a wall. I think Jimmy and Dale went to bed after this and Megan from South Dakota had to be put to bed and tucked in.
A bit later, someone had the great idea to jump into the hotel pool. I threw Andrea in there, because she only weighs 1XX. I know what the X s are but it’s a secret, shhhhhhhh. I see Richard jump in there, and I take my shoes off and jump in! After such a muggy evening, it felt great, but since I am an idiot, I jumped in there with my phone, so it is gone. Kyle and J2 also got in the pool too. As I was relaxing in the hot tub, Richard challenged me to a race across the pool which I lost. I don’t have the experience he does swimming across rivers for what it’s worth. Richard and I get out and make our way to the third floor to dry off and go to bed. The front desk lady who has been watching the debauchery unfold on camera attempts not to burst into laughter behind her hand.

I don’t know why but after I got dried off and changed Richard tells me we should go down to the girls room on the second floor. I get settled into the girls bed, and then Richard leaves. Hannah is yelling at me and Andrea to shut up, and I am egging Hannah on. Hannah is very loud, jeez! Right as I get comfy Andrea tells me I should go upstairs! Andrea walks me to the door and we say goodnight.

I get to room 333 and Jimmy is sleeping in the chair I think, Dale is sleeping on one bed, and there is one bed wide open for me! Wait, where is Richard? I think about this for un momento, but I am tired and just fall asleep. When I wake up in the morning I find my favorite Hispanic Richard rolled up like a burrito next to me. Dale tells me Richard, who is notorious for sleeping anywhere, was passed out on a sprawling bed of tile called the bathroom floor. Dale, being the kind soul he is, fireman carried Richard to my bed and plopped him down.

Dale and I go to breakfast in the morning, but I feel like [censored] and just drink some coffee. Richard and Jimmy wake up and accompany Dale down to breakfast again. I elect to text message with Cynthia on Jimmy’s cell phone from room 333. I come down a little later to eat some yogurt, I was sad they did not have Danimals.

We all head up to the room and take some naps while Jimmy entertains his relatives. I think Dale and I were drifting in and out of sleep when a contestant on “Flavor of Love” described her evening with Flava Flav as “romantical.” Dale and I were both awakened from our slumbers after we heard this grammatical travesty. We chuckled a condescending chuckle and hung out until it was time for pictures which we were late for. It was all Jimmy’s fault imo.

This is part 1… I will write the rest when I feel motivated. I still have the actual wedding and the reception to go. I haven’t written in along time and this has taken alot out of me. If I have messed up some names or something, then let me now!

Um, I made 3k (No graph becuse I was a genius and uninstalled cake then reinstalled it, which deleted my HH) in April @ poker… Another 6k through RB stuff…. I’m poor
Wish FT would fix there e check cashout thing

Expect a serious biz life post soon.
I’m up one kay @ poker this month, so far…. I am playing like all the FTOPS Events, so ONE TIME BABY!

Oya here is May’s Graph, so far…

It’s spring time, so of course I decide to start playing poker again seriously. This graph is 98% 50nl and 2% 100nl from the last week of March.

+$100 RB

I have a modest goal to make $1000 in April at 100nl. I’ll try for weekly updates!

Ok, pretty lazy day, cmon December!

Uh, things going well with lady friend, gonna have to block her IP though. Figure she can read this.

My desktop died and I don’t know the pw for updating this site, becuase I just randomly generated one and put it in Roboform.

This month has sucked so bad that I am holding off until December to give 10%. Thanksgiving was good at my parents house with the family and such. I like this girl and she says she likes me back but I went out with her once and I don’t know if anything is there. Personally, I think she is just too nice to tell me she doesn’t like me :), or she doesn’t know what she wants… I think she is v cool and pretty though. I feel like text messaging her is pretty annoying so I’m just going to lay off and if she wants to do anything else then fine, if not, I want her to be happy.

School sucks too, it has started becoming not so interesting again…  I haven’t registered for next semester yet…

Poker wise, blah, I’ll be on back on the grind sometime tomorrow, also plan on playing at least one PCA satellite so maybe I can get out this state for a little bit.

It’s all about the long run.

Fired up 8 tables, then the internet in this rural town cuts out.

I think could really kill if I could put together ~1500 hand session.

NOVEMBER: $421.47